i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
