This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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