I could have mohawked her pubes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
