sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
