It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
