i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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