I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
