Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
