how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
