i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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