I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
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