I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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