Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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