The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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