What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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