Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
