Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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