Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
