so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
