god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
