no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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