i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
