Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
