Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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