Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
