Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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