Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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