If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
