Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
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