Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
