I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
