How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
