Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
