I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
being pregnant is like rehab
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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