His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
