You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
