In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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