He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Actions speak louder than pants.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
