Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
