Her vagina should come with caution tape.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
