I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Randomize
