ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
