She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
