I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
