So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
