I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
