I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
