i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Randomize
