We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
