we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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