And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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