morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
two words: eviction party
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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