do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
