Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
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