my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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