Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
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