You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
