Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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