he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
